I haven’t posted anything in about 2 weeks. It probably has to do with the mix of me not having a computer for awhile and me being so happy/busy with my life. Me my sweetHAHT are so good. We fight, but that won’t ever change. Tonight is Christmas Eve. I already got my 2 big gifts, camera and a new laptop :) :) :), tomorrow I just have my stocking to open! Anyway, Corey came over for dinner tonight and met my parents (finally) along with my grandparents. We watched T.V. and stuff and ate. He was all dressed up and handsom ;). After we ate, we went to his house and I opened the gifts his mom bought me. She got me a scarf and mittens and cute little fuzzy socks. Tala, Alec and Caley (the dogs) “got me” body spray and lotion haha. Then I opened my last gift…….. she got me the slip on Uggs I was talking about with her. The chestnut Coquette ones. I didn’t even know what to say, she’s literally the nicest lady in the world. Second mom, soon to be mother in law? :O

Not to get ahead of myself, but everything is wonderful right now. This is the best Christmas Eve I’ve ever had and hopefully soon to be best Christmas.

And for the rest of the night, we’ve been talking. And I love that you feel just as bad as me, and maybe that sounds totally selfish but I don’t care. It ended with:

I wish you were here.

I wish you meant that.

I do, I miss seeing you, hearing
your voice, coming home to you.

Me too, goodnight.

Though I miss you more then words can explain, I finally won and it feels great.  This is always going to be complicated, me and you, and I’ve learned to realize and accept that. And honestly, I’m fine with it, because I know what we have is real. Complicated, but real. Work on this or leave again, it isn’t going to make or break me anymore. I love you but I’m not making you a need until I know you’re as sure about me as I am about you.

I think I’m getting sick… again. Story of my life haha. I always sleep in but today I slept in because my stomach hurt way too bad to even get out of bed. Not to mention the AWESOME headache I’ve had ALL day. Anyway, I fed my kitties, watched a little T.V. and eventually got around to getting in the shower. I had chicken stir-fry and salad for dinner, did absolutley nothing to my hair, threw on some clothes and make-up and went to school. Thursday night’s class is History, which is 10x better then Tuesday night’s English class but it’s still school and it still blows. I got back 2 quizzes. One was an A- and one was an A+. Wooo go me. I got out and came home, changed into comfy clothes and had some cereal. UGH, also my laptop is about to shit the bed. I don’t even have a main screen with any icons, a Start bar or anything anymore. It’s just my desktop background and everytime I turn on my laptop, this Anti-virus system (which ironically enough IS a virus in itself) pops up and won’t let me close it. The only way I can work my computer anymore is by pressing CTRL ALT DELETE and bringing up the Task Manager and choosing my shit that way. I mean, my mom got this laptop from someone for free and she could probably get another one easily but this just has ALL my music and ALL my pictures and I don’t know. Shit suckkkss.

I missed you a lot today.
It’s okay though, I’m okay though.

(via angiekraz)

On the phone till almost 4:30 AM so I slept in late. Got up and helped my mom put the groceries away and filled out an application to Hannaford’s. I’m gonna go get in the shower, still feel pretty sick, probably not going out. I got a new charger yesterday though so my phone’s finally back on again.

And with possibly one of ONLY people that has ever really given a shit about me and I can’t explain the guilt I have for my actions. I’m sorry. 7 years. But it’s my fault.

Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
All Cleaned Out.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Bong Hit.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Five To One.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Everytime I Look For You.

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
Give It Away.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
TiK ToK.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
This Is Only A Chapter.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
It Always Rains On A Picnic.

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Twist And Shout.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Ladies.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Lose Control.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Elevation.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
How’s It Gonna Be?

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Yellow Bus. (hahahaha)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Peace Frogs.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST
Give Peace A Chance.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Bitch I’m Sexy.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
That’s Me.

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Something In The Way.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Back To Good.

TUMBLR IS?
Ball And Chain.

I swear I didn’t screw with any of these, they were all my first click answers. SO weird most of them.

Today was good. I cleaned my whole room and did a ton of laundry, took a quick shower and then took a bubble bath :). Now I’m making spaghetti to go with my mom’s meat sauce she made last night. I looveee leftovers. I’m probably gonna eat that and watch T.V. and then give myself a mani/pedi.

I don’t believe I need you anymore.

Byebye.